Hello to all my darlings out there in Cyberland! I know, I know…your Auntie Strangelove has been neglecting you these past few weeks, and I feel so ashamed, but let's forget the past and celebrate the future with comicdoms favor fruitcake doing what she does best; reviewing everything that is DVD. So boys and…boys…you know, besides Magik, are there any other real women reading this site? Guys, if you want a healthy relationship, you men are going to have share all aspects of your life with your mates no matter what their reactions may be; happy for you but bored silly all the while, interested in your hobbies and wanting to explore more without you hovering over their shoulder, frightened by your Moonie-like-devotion while one hand busily uncaps the safety on the pepper spray, terrified and nauseous and the next thing you know your family and friends invite you to an all-you-can-eat-dinner at the Catfish King with the hidden intentions of conducting an intervention…but I digress, wander, and ramble.
As you know, your good friend Doctor S. loves to post reviews of DVD's, and I've decided too start (and hopefully finish…which is a joke you really won't get if I leave this puppy lingering in my Documents folder) the end of summer with a HOT review of Paramount Pictures "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan-The Director's Edition". Well, what can I say about the second DVD release of Trekdomes biggest moneymaker? WHAT A RIP OFF! Yeah, that sounds good. It seems as though Paramount has discovered that no matter how many incarnations of one product they put out there, fans are sure too gobble it up faster than Anna Nicole Smith at an 'All You Can Eat' chicken wings restaurant. Now I'm all in favor of a DVD being released in a 'Special Edition' or 'Director's Edition' format, but why would Paramount start this new endeavor (that's a nice way of saying scam) by giving us a taste of perfection (Star Trek: The Motion Picture-The Director's Edition) and then follow it up with some lame pony? I mean, sure the price was right ($19.99 at your local Best Buy store), but after watching the 'Director's' version of the film on Disc1, and then begrudgingly viewing the new supplements on Disc 2, $19.99 felt wrong.
First off, there are NO 'special effects' changes made to the original film, mainly because of director Nicholas Meyer's belief in not 'fixing something that works'. Well, if that's the case, why then does this edition feature never before seen footage tacked onto familiar scenes that were fine too begin with? If consumers have to put up with unaltered stock footage thrown into the film (Kirk and crew approaching Enterprise in a Travel Pod and the Enterprise leaving Space Dock were all lifted from ST: The Motion Picture) that has since been cleaned up and digitally enhanced (ST: TMP-Director's Edition really went above and beyond in bringing out the colors and sharpening the small details in the before mentioned examples), why then should we rejoice when Paramount throws us bones in the form of added McCoy dialogue, or Kirk telling Spock that he has a son? I admit that I loved seeing more of DeForest Kelly (especially the extended scene between he and Shatner, when his character Dr. McCoy gives Kirk a pair of spectacles for a birthday present…priceless), but if you're going to go to the trouble of finding that discarded footage and cleaning it up for the DVD re-release, then damn it, spend a few more bucks and replace that stupid Regula One space station (the space station used in ST: TMP, except that in 'Wrath' it's upside down) or the cheap shot of the three Klingon Cruisers used during the training session. I wouldn't mind these stock scenes so much, if it weren't for the fact that they were all made better with the ST: TMP-Director's Edition. Now when I see Kirk and crew approaching the Enterprise before the inspection, I can't help but look at all the mistakes that were rectified in the Director's Edition of 'The Motion Picture'. I'm not asking that the dog fights in the nebula or Khan's first strike against the Enterprise be replaced, that WOULD be changing perfection, but if I have to suffer while Kirk tells Spock, "That young man is my son." in a scene that in no way helps move along the story (other than making sure that any and all idiots at home understand that the 'guy' with the curly blonde hair IS Kirk's son), then I want Enterprise leaving port from the space dock shown in "Generations", or a new CGI model of Regula One orbiting a planetoid that looks a little more convincing than that 'barren rock' dangling in the background. You can't start something and then not finish it. If you're going to give us more, then go all out and give us everything. That's why they call it a 'Director's Edition".
Let's talk supplements for a moment.
Disc 2 contains all the bells and whistles that you would expect of a 'Director's Edition', but falls short when compared to the extras ST: TMP's "Director's Edition". Now I hate to sound like a broken record, but the first 'Director's Edition' was chocked full of info and tidbits. When Robert Wise reedited ST: TMP, those behind the creation of the DVD were sure to include on the bonus disc, every scene and snippet cut from the original. Even if the trim consisted of a few seconds, well, they were included on the second disc. They even made a montage of the discarded scenes, and it worked. On 'Wrath', the changes to the original film could be a subtle as a change in camera direction, or the switching of dialogue, BUT they didn't include the trimmed sections on the bonus disc. Again this comes down to all or nothing, and on this particular outing, they choose NOTHING. So no cut scenes, and unfortunately, no added trailers or TV spots. Now I for one, am a huge (I'll go on a diet soon) fan of trailers, and as Zeroman has stated before in the past, sometimes trailers are the best part of the movie. Only 1 trailer for this 'Director's Edition', and as luck would have it, I already have it on the original DVD (except now it's in WIDE SCREEN…yippee!). Now before you go and spend your money on something frivolous like video games or comic books (that's a little joke), know that there are a few gems to be found amongst the rough.
First is "The Captain's Log" featuring new interviews with Meyers, Shatner, Nimoy, and Richardo 'The Plane, The Plane' Montalbon. All in all, this blows chunks the size of Texas cow chips, but don't fast forward just yet, because if you do then you'll miss Ol'Bill Shatner telling how he came up with the death scene between Kirk and Spock. According to Bill 'The Pill', the original scene HE concocted was for the character of Spock to be behind a tinted window, so that during the final moments of his life, the audience would only see his shadow, and thus, most of the grief and sympathy the audience felt at that moment would fall on Kirk…hey, maybe Shatner did come up with that scene. You also get too hear how Meyers original cut of the film hinted in no way that Spock had a chance of returning. There was no Genesis planet scene with Spock's photon tube, just a sad ending to the film that probably would have been neat too see on a 'DIRECTOR'S EDITION' DVD!!!
Next up was the "Visual Effects of Star Trek II". Here was a cool (if not really short…like cold water or excessive steroid use short) mini-documentary that featured the artists working at ILM during the production of the movie. I would love too have enjoyed this piece except that every time someone spoke, you had James Horner's music wailing away in the background. Now I'm a fan of the soundtrack for 'Wrath', but for heavens sake, turn down the bass and let us hear what these eggheads have too say! Imagine sitting with a friend and catching up on old times, while some where in the distance, somebody is blasting your favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber CD. Sure you love the music (even if you keep it a secret from your family and friends), but when you're trying to listen to something you're really interested in, it just becomes annoying.
Now here is the scary side of "Star Trek". You know those people that always take a fun thing and just carry it a bit too far? Well this DVD has captured one of those freaks on video, and man oh man, is he a live one. "The Star Trek Universe: A Novel Approach" features authors Julia Ecklar and Greg Cox (Ecklar wrote "A Test of Character: The Kobayashi Maru Scenario", and Cox pinned "The Eugenics War: The Rise of Khan Noonien Singh"…neither titles made the 'Oprah Winfrey Book of the Month' selection) in all their humble and scarier glory. Now Ecklar is just your run of the mill sci-fi geek, bad hairstyle, gland problem and all, but Cox…Cox, now he's a character. I don't know if it was his annoying facial tic, or that foamy white slobber on the corners of his lips, but OH MY GOD…what a fruitcake! He rambled on and on about the basis for his novels (while at the same time not telling us anything whatsoever about the books), only pausing long enough to experience a series of quick muscle spasms and strange head jerks, then we cut away to Ecklar who is in a completely different location, but you get the sense that she knows what Cox has been saying and she looks all the more uncomfortable for her part in this piece. We cut back again to Cox, and he is still rambling on about nothing interesting at all, but that doesn't stop him from patting himself on the back for his own genius as his eyes roll slowly into the back of his skull. Cox is the cliché of a Star Trek geek, and because of that you're thinking that if he just moved out of his parents basement and got a date he'd be fine, but to be honest, I wouldn't wish him on any woman or farm animal, and I don't believe that cutting the apron strings with Mom is the answer here. What this guy needs psychotropic drugs, lots of drugs…and I mean STAT!
All this leads to the true treasure of this DVD, and that's the documentary "Designing Khan". Basically it covers the differences between the first film and "Wrath", with interviews with various ILM personnel, Meyers, and costume and design illustrators, but don't let that throw you off. This is the diamond in the rough folks, and the only reason that I would recommend that anyone buy this DVD. If for nothing else, you have got to see the crotchety old guy who was head of the design department for the film. This old codger is a hoot and a half people. He's like that grumpy old man at your job that has been there for countless millennia and thinks everyone younger than 60 is an idiot, but once you look past his senility and gruff exterior, you get a man who really knows what the hell he's talking about. That is this guy. He growls throughout the interview, but it's a good growl, because he talks about stuff like how the influence of "Star Wars" cast a shadow if influence over the art department and model makers. Everyone at that time was looking to copy the "mishmash" designs of the "Star Wars" universe, but the problem was that this was not "Star Wars", and this old guy had to remind them of that on a daily basis. These young 'upstarts' wanted Khan's ship to look like an Imperial cruiser, but the grumpy old guy reminded them that objects in the "Star Trek" universe had to be consistent with what had come before. Now I know that that doesn't sound like much right here, but could you as a fan even imagine the familiar design of the 'Reliant' as anything other than what we have come too know and love? There was much more that I would have loved too have seen with this documentary (like more talk about the redesigning of the Star Fleet uniforms, especially since they survived 6 films and countless T.V. episodes) especially after reading an article about the script evolution for the film, but all in all "Designing Khan" is the best part of Disc 2, and the one reason I have in recommending this DVD too you.
I have to say that I can't recommend this DVD to anyone but a true fan of the picture. While "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" is without a doubt the #1 Best "Star Trek" film ever made (and the very reason I became a Trekkie), this second "Director's Edition" leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe Paramount did wrong in releasing "The Motion Picture-Director's Edition" first? Not only was the film made better on DVD, with the trims and additions (they could only go up with that film people), but every single nugget of information that we ever wanted to know and some we really didn't want to learn was thrown on that DVD, and boy howdy, was it grand. "Wrath of Khan-Director's Edition"…well…I got it for $19.99 at Best Buy…that's something good to say about it.
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