So now the internet is all in a tizzy about the most shocking news to hit the science fiction community since the truth about William Shatners hair. Yes, the tragic news that members of N'Sync would have roles in the upcoming Star Wars film. In truth, this shocking turn of events is nothing new to those of us who truely know the almost forgotten past of "Star Wars" history.

Picture it, 1976 and the "Bee Gees" are rocking (in a cool, calm sort of way) the globe with their hard metal edge and sharp fashion sense. In walks George Lucas; poor boy from the bad side of Jersey, who has just presented 20th Century Fox with the biggest dud in film history, with the exception of the all female "Gone With The Wind" remake MGM Studios created in '67. The little film that couldn't was called "Dark Daddies And Sexy Sisters In Space"! It had robots, it had spaceships, it had lazer whips and men in black leather...in fact, it had s*@t. A remake of Oscar Mellon's classic CBS made-for-T.V.-movie, "Civil Wars", and a lawsuit waiting to happen, George it seemed had wasted over 92 million of 20th's less-than-hard earned money on a 4 hour piece of plagiarized crap. Whatever were they to do? Enter Paul Williams.

Paul Williams; an artist and musician known throughout the...lower to upper...more towards the right...not near the first big hills but before you hit the interstate...yea, there...Mid West. Paul had already established himself not only as a creative power behind the 8-track mixer, but also an accomplished actor, winning accolades and praise for his work in such big budget films like "Battle for the Planet of the Apes", and the indie film "Smokey and the Bandit". It was Williams, then head of marketing for Fox and part-time janitor at Paramount, who first suggested to execs that they should consider releasing the film with a "Hip" musical accompaniment. Enter the "Bee Gees"!

It was Garth Brooks, then backup dancer for the all-male-boy-band, who recalls that fateful October morning, when Fox execs descended on the "Bee Gees" quiet Manhattan beach house.

"I remember like it was 25 years ago...there we all were, sitting on the back deck of Barry's bungalow, sipping Rogaine and just...I don't know, trying to stay alive. Suddenly, like in some cheesy sci-fi flick, the front door to Barry's house just bursts open with a loud explosion, and before Andy can snort another line of Coke, in rushs a horde of storming accountants and lawyers all dressed in white. I completely lost it, man. Barry's was using the hard edge of his butterfly collar as a weapon against the intruders, but Andy just falls to his knees and starts spouting idiotic ramblings about how he can't die because he's the only one whose going to have a full head of hair when he gets old. About that time this midget, who played an orangutan in "Battle for the Planet of the Apes", strolls in dressed all in black including his cape, with some plaid wearing asthmatic kid filming the whole thing, as if he were making a movie."

The events of that day would forever change the powers governing the relationships between the sci-fi film making world and the community of drug-induced musicians. The merging of Hard Rock music that only the "Bee Gees" could provide, shown against the beautiful and almost tranquil backdrop of a bloody and horrific galactic civil war. Separate they were crap, but together they would forever be known as"Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band 2: Incest, Hair, and Little Green Men." A great idea in the making...and it never saw the light of a projected light...like the light from a projector...a movie projector...like the ones in MOVIE THEATHRES...damn you people are thick headed.

Next Week: The continuing story of how "Star Wars" came to be...plus, how Bea Arthur's refusal to do a nude scene, almost resulted in the deletion of the Moff Tarkin character.

Till next time... the doctor is out!

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DVD Reviews by Dr. Strangelove

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