Terrell Owens is considered by some to be one of the most exciting players in football today. However, even his fans admit that he is not much of a team player. Sound familiar? Of course it does. So it is interesting that the Philadelphia Eagles decided that no matter how many fans Owens put in the seats, no matter how many great catches he might make, the team was still better off without him. They felt that the integrity and unity of the team outweighed the exciting, but disruptive performance of one of its superstars. Now, I thought to myself, what if the comics world followed their lead?

The Super Hero Union immediately filed a grievance on Batman's behalf, claiming that there was insufficient grounds for the suspension. "The actions of the JLA are merely an attempt to place the blame on Batman for what has been an unfortunately bad year," said Union chief Thaddeus Brown. "Batman is simply a convenient scapegoat because he is not the warm and cuddly kind of superhero that the JLA wants. Admittedly, listing the JLA members 'secret identities' on his daily web blog was a lapse in judgment, as was creating a race of deadly killer robots, bent on destroying super heroes. But none of these actions are specifically prohibited in the JLA Players Handbook."

Reaction from within the JLA was mixed. "I'm gonna miss him," said fellow member Black Canary. "We had a lot in common. We both wore a lot of black. In fact, I probably shouldn't mention this, but... when some of my fishnets went missing, guess where they turned up! I mean, come on! He already wears a cape! That clenching tough guy act doesn't have me fooled!"

Wonder Woman had a less flattering assessment. "We dated once. All he could talk about was how he was going to be watching me. Over and over again: I'm keeping my eye on you. Then he started humming "Every Breath You Take." It was pretty creepy."

"He's a jerk! Every time I went to take a wiz I'd find another 'Bat-Camera'!" said Green Arrow. "We used to start off every meeting with a joke, you know, 'How many Injustice Gang members does it take to crack a bank?' Superhero stuff. Everybody'd laugh and that break the tension. But not Batman. He'd just mutter about that night, that alley! With Batman, it's all about the Bling, you know? He's got some really cool Bat-stuff, but he was a really pretty depressing guy."

Unfortunately, Batman himself could not be reached for comment, as he was busy getting his grimace tightened. However, sources close to the 'hero' said that this is all a misunderstanding and that Batman would clear up his side of the story in his upcoming book, "You're All Scum: Distrust, Fear and How to Take Down the Justice League."

In a related story, Wolverine has filed suit against his employer, Marvel Comics, citing "unreasonable demands". His suit calls for him to restructure his contract and trim the number of superhero group that he is affiliated with from twenty four down to a more workable eight. A source at DC Comics hinted that if Wolverine was released from his contract that he might be welcome at the older comic company. "Sure, we could find a place for him, you know? He'd be a pretty good fit with the new, "Darker DC". Besides, Wolverine likes beer, right? Well, Green Arrow makes some fo the best home brew you've ever tasted!" Reminded that his comments might be construed as "tampering", the souce replied, "Hey, let's not go there! Swamp Thing or Man-Thing: Who came first? We're still arguing that one!"